Did you see the article that appeared recently on marieclaire.com by Abigail Pesta - “To Breed or Not to Breed”? In the article she discusses myths about parenthood. They include:
- All women have a maternal instinct.
- Parenting makes you a better person.
- Parenting is, by definition, rewarding.
- It’s different when they’re yours.
- Parenting is the path to maturity.
- A baby will strengthen the marriage.
- You’ll regret not having kids.
- Kids offer security when you’re old.
Susan Jeffers, author of I’m OK You’re a Brat , debunks a good deal of other parenthood myths with her 10 Mad, Mad Myths:
There is an instinctual urge for all men and women to have children.
Having children s the ultimate fulfillment in a woman’s life.
All women instinctually know how to care for their newborn child.
All women have an instinctual desire to take care of their children.
Breast is best for everyone.
Bonding and attachment are essential to the well being of the child.
Mothers should stay home from work during the early years of a child’s life.
All that goes wrong with a child is the mother’s fault.
Women are more capable than men when it comes to the care of their children.
Getting custody of the children is a win for all women.
To those of you with and without children, what do you think of these myths? Ones you resonate with? Disagree with?
While some people know they don’t want to have children fairly early in life, most of them come to the decision over time and from working through a variety of factors. Jeffers’ book is a must read for anyone who is in the midst of deciding whether to have children. It debunks lots of myths about parenthood and questions to ask yourself to determine whether it is the right thing for you.
We don’t see a lot out there debunking these kinds of myths. There is also not nearly enough out there about views of what it is really like to raise a child, and other issues parents don’t want to talk about with regards to parenthood. A number of studies have shown that when parents can answer anonymously if they had it to do over again would they have children, many, up to 50 percent say No they would not….this is information people should have when deciding whether it is right for them or not!