La Vie Childfree

When I decided to do Families of Two I will never forget my mother’s initial reaction. She told me she was not going to tell any of her friends what I was doing. I asked her why. She felt that she would be seen as not having parented me very well if it turned out I did not want to become parent myself. We had a heart to heart talk. I told her that she was a Great mom, and one of the many reasons why is because she raised my brother and I without expectations of how she wanted our lives to turn out, other than being happy. We were taught your life can look any way you want it to look but the most important thing is that you are happy.

While I think she thought she would likely become a grandmother one day, she never pressured my brother and me. Neither did my father. As it turned out, I chose not to have children and neither did my brother. So she has no grandkids. I really think she would have loved to have been a grandmother and would have been a great one.  Continue reading “Parents of Childfree: What–I don’t get to be a grandparent?” »

For awhile now, in the tabloids and popular magazines that follow the stars, so much of what we’ve seen has to do with who is pregnant, who is having another child, and slews of pictures of Hollywood babies, babies, and more babies!

Then just recently Ah! we hear from Rachael Ray and why she does not have children.

From the article:

I think that I’m 40 years old, and I have an enormous amount of hours that have to be dedicated to work,” said Ms. Ray. “For me personally, I would need more time to feel like I’d be a good mom to my own child. I feel like a borderline good mom to my dog. So I can’t imagine if it was a human baby….I feel like it would be unfair, not only to the child but to the people I work with.”

The interviewer, Cynthia McFadden, then pressed, “Do you think you’re missing something?” Continue reading “Childfree Celebrities: Where Are They?” »

The last post was about mad, mad myths about parenthood—

Now let’s turn to the mad, mad myths about those who don’t have kids by choice. From interviewing over a hundred couples for Families of Two, here are my top, top four. First, the biggest I heard then and what still seems to be the most common:

Those who don’t choose not to have kids are selfish, self-absorbed people

In interviewing many couples and in just talking to folks who have chosen not to have kids, I’ve found that people who’ve make this choice often see far beyond themselves and the consequences of their actions. They are involved in their communities, churches, nonprofit causes they care about, including those that help kids.

On this score it is also important to define what we mean by “selfish”.

Continue reading “Mad, Mad Myths About Those Who Opt Out of Parenthood” »