Comments on: Childfree Couples or Parent Couples: Whose Happier? http://lauracarroll.com/2010/01/childfree-couples-or-parent-couples-whose-happier/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=childfree-couples-or-parent-couples-whose-happier Talk the Childfree Life & Beyond with Author Laura Carroll Mon, 06 Feb 2012 08:18:31 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Laura http://lauracarroll.com/2010/01/childfree-couples-or-parent-couples-whose-happier/comment-page-1/#comment-125 Laura Wed, 07 Apr 2010 19:13:47 +0000 http://lauracarroll.com/?p=550#comment-125 Hi Amanda, In talking to lots of childfree couples, you'd be amazed how many do Not talk about it before they get married unless one or the both of them were certain about now wanting kids. Most seem to evolve into the decision. These days it seems more common that because couple wait longer to start thinking about it, that by the time they do they realize their concerns about becoming parents outweigh their level of desir. In any case, it's a risky thing not to talk about it before getting married! ~L Hi Amanda, In talking to lots of childfree couples, you’d be amazed how many do Not talk about it before they get married unless one or the both of them were certain about now wanting kids. Most seem to evolve into the decision. These days it seems more common that because couple wait longer to start thinking about it, that by the time they do they realize their concerns about becoming parents outweigh their level of desir. In any case, it’s a risky thing not to talk about it before getting married! ~L

]]> By: Amanda http://lauracarroll.com/2010/01/childfree-couples-or-parent-couples-whose-happier/comment-page-1/#comment-123 Amanda Wed, 07 Apr 2010 17:08:48 +0000 http://lauracarroll.com/?p=550#comment-123 I agree with earlier posts: there needs to be a study on the happiness of marriages where both parties come into the marriage knowing for certain they don't want kids and have discussed it prior to getting married. That is much different than couples who didn't discuss it, changed their minda after marriage, or those who wanted them and couldn't concieve. There should be a separate study on each group, and of course, the effect of having children on marriages. I would love to participate in the study, because my husband and I have both known all our lives we didn't want children, and we discussed it before marriage. We both have tried to get surgical sterilization, and were unable to because of our ages. We are going to try again now that he is 35 and I am 32, but not sure how it's going to play out. We also catch alot of flack for not wanting children. Most people we talk to just can't wrap their minds around someone not wanting children. We are happy with just having each other and our dogs. We don't have to have "date night" to get away from the kids because every night is date night without them. I agree with earlier posts: there needs to be a study on the happiness of marriages where both parties come into the marriage knowing for certain they don’t want kids and have discussed it prior to getting married. That is much different than couples who didn’t discuss it, changed their minda after marriage, or those who wanted them and couldn’t concieve. There should be a separate study on each group, and of course, the effect of having children on marriages.
I would love to participate in the study, because my husband and I have both known all our lives we didn’t want children, and we discussed it before marriage. We both have tried to get surgical sterilization, and were unable to because of our ages. We are going to try again now that he is 35 and I am 32, but not sure how it’s going to play out. We also catch alot of flack for not wanting children. Most people we talk to just can’t wrap their minds around someone not wanting children. We are happy with just having each other and our dogs. We don’t have to have “date night” to get away from the kids because every night is date night without them.

]]> By: Laura http://lauracarroll.com/2010/01/childfree-couples-or-parent-couples-whose-happier/comment-page-1/#comment-96 Laura Thu, 11 Mar 2010 16:21:29 +0000 http://lauracarroll.com/?p=550#comment-96 The church's rules do seem to indirectly "allow" or at least allow for people to get around it when one can have a vasecotomy as a form of birth control, and be freed from the sin part by going to confession...in any case, I feel it is beyond unfair to tell church members that if they use birth control, and don't have as many children as that may bring them (and deal with the life realities of that) they will die in a state of mortal sin, especially when it is clear there are other ways to interpret book of genesis and all the fruitful business! But liek I said I chose to become an ex-Catholic a long time ago....thanks always for your thoughts. See the latest post -- may be of interest to you! The church’s rules do seem to indirectly “allow” or at least allow for people to get around it when one can have a vasecotomy as a form of birth control, and be freed from the sin part by going to confession…in any case, I feel it is beyond unfair to tell church members that if they use birth control, and don’t have as many children as that may bring them (and deal with the life realities of that) they will die in a state of mortal sin, especially when it is clear there are other ways to interpret book of genesis and all the fruitful business! But liek I said I chose to become an ex-Catholic a long time ago….thanks always for your thoughts. See the latest post — may be of interest to you!

]]> By: Anaonymous http://lauracarroll.com/2010/01/childfree-couples-or-parent-couples-whose-happier/comment-page-1/#comment-95 Anaonymous Thu, 11 Mar 2010 03:22:37 +0000 http://lauracarroll.com/?p=550#comment-95 There are, as in every religion, different factions--some are very, very outspoken against any form of birth control, and some argue just as strongly to allow it. Your mom's priest may have been one of those with moderate feelings on the subject. There's also the possibility that, as it probably occurred during Vatican II, when the Church was going through so many reforms and struggling to retain members, that your mom's priest felt it was for everyone's benefit to just let the issue slide. But the official stance of the Church has always been (as far as I know) that artificial means of birth control are sinful. This may very well change in the future, but I doubt that, even if it does, the Church will condone the decision to be childfree by choice anytime soon. There are, as in every religion, different factions–some are very, very outspoken against any form of birth control, and some argue just as strongly to allow it. Your mom’s priest may have been one of those with moderate feelings on the subject. There’s also the possibility that, as it probably occurred during Vatican II, when the Church was going through so many reforms and struggling to retain members, that your mom’s priest felt it was for everyone’s benefit to just let the issue slide. But the official stance of the Church has always been (as far as I know) that artificial means of birth control are sinful. This may very well change in the future, but I doubt that, even if it does, the Church will condone the decision to be childfree by choice anytime soon.

]]> By: Laura http://lauracarroll.com/2010/01/childfree-couples-or-parent-couples-whose-happier/comment-page-1/#comment-93 Laura Thu, 11 Mar 2010 01:22:28 +0000 http://lauracarroll.com/?p=550#comment-93 All the rules of the Catholic church do make my head hurt ;)! You make me think of as far back as after I was born and then four years later my brother, my mother went to the priest (she was and remains Catholic) and had a heart to heart of sorts about not wantin gto have any more children, and she wanted to go on birth control. The priest gave her his blessing and she has said that is all she needed...have you heard of this in the Catholic church? Indeed to have a child that is not wanted is not good and sure ends up doing a number on the child. I hate to think of how many people who have and do because they think they will commit a sin if they don't. Seems in the end they are thinking of themselves and based ontheir beliefs, having a child for their own religious protection... All the rules of the Catholic church do make my head hurt ;) ! You make me think of as far back as after I was born and then four years later my brother, my mother went to the priest (she was and remains Catholic) and had a heart to heart of sorts about not wantin gto have any more children, and she wanted to go on birth control. The priest gave her his blessing and she has said that is all she needed…have you heard of this in the Catholic church?

Indeed to have a child that is not wanted is not good and sure ends up doing a number on the child. I hate to think of how many people who have and do because they think they will commit a sin if they don’t. Seems in the end they are thinking of themselves and based ontheir beliefs, having a child for their own religious protection…

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