La Vie Childfree

I’ve been thinking about the words we use to describe those who choose not to have children. Years ago it was “childless”-those who didn’t have kids, by choice or not. The word became criticized by those who chose not to have kids because it denotes a lack or an incompleteness. In the 70s “childfree” started as a reaction to this “less” concept. While it has more positive connotations than “childless,” “free” is also interpreted negatively, reflecting someone who shuns the responsibilities of parenthood, aka “adulthood.”

This belief has its roots in pronatalism, the backbone of why those who don’t want children are judged. It’s our deep seated value system that is pro-baby, encourages reproduction, and exalts the role of parenthood.

With pronatalism in mind, take the focus off “free” and “less.” What’s left? The word “child.” The very words we’ve used begin with the focus on child—at its root, it comes from a pronatalistic context!  What could we use instead –to finally get away from ties to pronatalistic thought?

Continue reading “Beyond the word “Childfree”” »

I am reading When Everything Changed: The Amazing Journey of American Women from 1960 to the Present by New York Times columnist and author Gail Collins. While interesting and informative about the history of women during this time period, covering politics, popular culture, economics, sex, work, and family, I am disappointed that there is no discussion of – you can guess– the emergence and rise in numbers of women who decide to have no children.  No mention or discussion relating to how in 1975..

Continue reading “Childfree Women in the History Books” »

I am struck by a “momversation” video on newparent.com. Three mothers share their views on people who have chosen not to have children.  One woman, Heather, says she cruised lots of childfree blogs and sites and got the impression that childless by choice folks are  ”angry.”   

I had to post a comment–while I have seen childfree sites and lots of posts that I would consider less than kind spirited, in my experience there are far more childfree that are not out there bashing parents or kids.  Heather also says she thinks the literature out there  is “colored with a tone” that made it hard for her to want to see the childfree perspective on things because it’s so “derisive” of parents.”  What literature does she mean I wonder.  In the last 20 years …

Continue reading “A “Momversation’s” View of the Childfree” »

I came across an interesting utube video by “ochinaocatosunflower“  on the childfree movement. She wanted to do her utube video because while she see news stories on childfree, but not on utube.  She describes some myths with the childfree.  One is “You are incomplete as a woman if  you don’t have kids.”  She says their is a religious component to this, namely, the idea that “you have a god given right to have children.”  For her she has no god given right, as she is an atheist.

That got me thinking–are childfree more likely to be atheist than those who have children?  Past research does indicate trends that the childfree are less religious, but I have not seen current research on this, and no research on childfree 20 somethings in this regard. In my interviews for Families of  Two, religious affiliation ran the gamut; some described themselves as religious, others less so, but I did not meet any that described them selves as atheists. 

Ochinaocatosunflower also makes a great point about the myth of childfree …

Continue reading “20-Somethings on the Childfree Movement” »