Sylvia is a wonderful humor writer. Yes, this book does help readers with coming to terms with the reality that they never want children, but you will turn the pages grinning, definitely be prone to giggling or even laughing out loud, as I did.

How could anyone not want children? You get her take. You learn how she first began to suspect she was “different”  when it came to babies, and get a funny jaunt on why those who think they don’t want kids should stop thinking they’re supposed to want them, and accept that they just don’t want them.

As she writes, “If there’s very little you find enticing about spit-up and heavy diapers, accept it.  Accept that you don’t want to wake up for feedings or to a floor cluttered with toys.  That you don’t want to have to pack a diaper bag and ready a bottle and prepare a baby every time you leave the house.  That you’ve seen those bathroom baby-changing stations and have walked by, almost every time, thankful to not have to deal with those contraptions and happy to be the one who gets to use the stall and leave.”  I have seen that baby changing station in action many times and can definitely relate to that!

You’ll get her stories about telling people she never wants kids, and get some advice on how the “yeahsure, maybesomeday” response can be “permanently retired.” How to stop short the conversation with mom and dad wannabe’s? She’ll tell you.

When it comes to dealing with “the opposition,” with wit she takes on the all too familiar selfish accusation but calls it both ways–how parents are selfish too.

She also tells love stories in which the kid factor was ultimately the deal breaker, and the ways in which mates and others can be downright insulting when it comes to not believing us when we tell them — no, I don’t want kids — ever.  Her stories of being at parties or with old friends who are now parents brought back memories of awkward situations with others from my own life. But the funny narrative made my own memories come back with a knowing grin and shake of the head.

Ideally for those who have not 100% accepted they are childfree or are not quite completely ok with it yet, this slim Ebook is also for those who have made peace with it.  If you are the former, Sylvia may just unhook the last link in the chain to total childfreedom, and you’ll do it with a smile. If you are the latter, I bet you’ll resonate with some of tales and wisdom, and have some good laughs along the way.

Like any fun ride, it ended too soon, but I was left with the idea that Sylvia just might have the seeds here for a very funny one woman monologue — instead of the vagina monologues, it could be the childfree monologues….Sylvia, try that on!

Find Sylvia and her Ebook here~

Anyone else read No Children No Guilt? How about your favorite childfree book that takes on the childfree topic in a humorous way?

In your research, what did you find regarding the stereotypes about Israelis who don’t want children?

The research brings to light how many stereotypes are pinned onto the childfree in Israel, and how similar they are to those in the U.S., namely, that childfree people are self-centered, child-haters, and freaks, who must have experienced trauma as children.

One widely accepted stereotype that my research challenged was the notion that women who don’t want children are inevitably career women. I found that most women participants do not see themselves as career women, but see their jobs chiefly as a source of income. They value their free time above their jobs, whether it be to spend their time on personal studies, hobbies, volunteer work or community activity.

What do you see as the unique challenges of being childfree in Israel compared to other countries?

The reasons for being childfree in Israel are similar to those in other Western countries, the main difference being the cultural backdrop against which this decision takes place.

Israel is in first place worldwide when it comes to utilizing fertility technologies and in the accessibility of these technologies to the public. There is significant national funding for these procedures in our country. Israel also has higher birth rates than are common in other developed countries.

Israeli society is heavily permeated by the religious discourse of “be fruitful and multiply” which perceived as one of the tenants of being Jewish. The memory of the Holocaust is a strong motivating factor (not necessarily conscious of course) for procreation as well. The State of Israel has also been subject to existential concerns brought on by the constant state of struggle and wars over its existence, and by the Jewish-Palestinian conflict, a situation that many people feel requires maintaining a Jewish majority as part of the ‘demographic balance’ discourse.

All these factors cause the pronatalist ideology to be particularly predominant and omnipresent in everyday life in Israel. Children are cherished and even perceived as sacred by Israeli society, and their shoulders are burdened with many expectations, on the national as well as the personal level. The pressure to procreate and the message that not having children means both shirking one’s civil duty and denying happiness from oneself – are being directed at individuals from every possible direction. These messages are everywhere – in commercials, in the media, in personal therapy sessions, in the workplace, on the street and at family dinner tables.

All of these factors point to the fact that in Israel, 2011, it is difficult to be childfree. Even if certain Israelis feel that the childfree decision is a non-issue for themselves and their social circle, for the majority, it is indeed still very much an issue, and one that has its own prices.

There is a lack of information about the childfree choice in Hebrew. The publishing of this book is an activist act that aims to expand the bounds of free choice for all people in general, and for women in particular.

Thank you so much, Orna!

Orna is currently a Ph.D. student in sociology and anthropology at Tel Aviv University, Israel. She also does volunteer work as chairwoman in one of the rape crisis centers in Israel.  She has published the article: “Pro-Natalism and its ‘Cracks’: Narratives of Reproduction and Childfree Lifestyles in Israel”, Israeli Sociology, 2009/2010, Vol. 11, Issue 2, Pp. 417-439 (in Hebrew).

Making a Choice: Being Childfree in Israel was published by Miskal – Yedioth Ahronot Books and Migdarim/Hakibutz Hameohad (in Hebrew).

What else do you know about be in childfree in Israel? Thoughts, please!

How did you come to write Making a Choice?

The book is based on research I did for my Master’s degree. In 2004, as I was nearing the end of my Masters degree in Sociology and Anthropology, I was required to choose an issue for my thesis. Within a few life-changing seconds, it became crystal clear to me that my thesis had to be an exploration of whether I was the only person in Israel who doesn’t want children. In those days, I had the impression that no one mentioned the unmentionable-that it was possible to choose a life without children. In hindsight, I realized this impression was false.

For the next three years, I conducted qualitative research with the goal of giving voice to Israeli women and men who don’t want to be parents. I conducted in-depth interviews with heterosexual childfree couples, and content analyses from the Women Who Don’t Want Children forum. It was the first time this kind of research had been done in Israel.

In Hebrew, the book title is Mimeni Vahalaa, which is an idiom with three meanings regarding the subject of not having children in Israel. All together they capture most of the ideas in the book: 1) a child is a symbol of continuity with his parents and the society, 2) a child is something that the women and men in the book are not interested in, and 3) having/not having a child in Israel is not perceived as a personal decision; it is perceived as a social/public one.

What were some of your findings?

From the data I learned that childfree people in Israel are a heterogeneous group, from their characteristics to the motivations for choosing a life without children. A core motivation that was obvious to many research participants but totally unfathomable and unacceptable by the Israeli public at large is the lack of desire to be a parent. Contrary to widespread belief that stipulates that all humans share a biological nature, and that women in particular have a maternal “instinct”, many of the participants in my research talked about a personal nature which does not include parenting.

Participants also spoke of rational considerations that accompany their internal certainty, such as: the importance of having the freedom to manage one’s time, money, and partnership (if there is one), the disinclination to take on the heavy responsibility involved in child-raising, placing a higher value on chosen families as opposed to blood relations, the unwillingness to bring additional people to the world, and many more.

Are there any kind of statistics on the number of childfree in Israel?

To date there are no numbers or percentages of non-parents by choice in Israel. When it comes to research in this area, there is a lot that needs to be done.

Stay tuned for Part II: Orna talks about stereotypes and the unique challenges the Israeli childfree face.  

Meanwhile, if you have information to share on characteristics and motives of Israeli childfree, please write in!

Orna is currently a Ph.D. student in sociology and anthropology at Tel Aviv University, Israel. She also does volunteer work as chairwoman in one of the rape crisis centers in Israel.  She has published the article: “Pro-Natalism and its ‘Cracks’: Narratives of Reproduction and Childfree Lifestyles in Israel”, Israeli Sociology, 2009/2010, Vol. 11, Issue 2, Pp. 417-439 (in Hebrew).

Making a Choice: Being Childfree in Israel was published by Miskal – Yedioth Ahronot Books and Migdarim/Hakibutz Hameohad (in Hebrew).

Would this be included in the bill? From what I can tell it is not. I did a little digging on how the childfree have been portrayed in instructional materials, and didn’t find much, except an interesting study published in 2009. Researchers from Louisiana State University looked at attitudes and perceptions of the childfree by doing content analyses of twenty marriage and family textbooks that were published and widely used in undergraduate sociology courses between 1950 and 2000. 

In the 50s, called “voluntary childlessness,” textbooks portrayed those who did not have children by choice too “faint at heart” to be “up to the challenge of parenting.”  In the 60s,  the perspective was more tolerant. It was mostly presented in the context of marriage, and made the point that the presence or absence of children was not the thing that predited marital happiness.  

In the 70s, the term “childfree” was first used and explained the choice in a positive way from a women’s rights and environmental movement stance. In the 80s, overall, the language used in textbooks had a “tolerant” and “balanced” flavor.

For example, paragraphs began with phrases such as, “Despite many people’s beliefs, couples who choose to remain childless are usually neither frustrated nor unhappy,”  and “That careers are prioritized and childcare is a burden sounds like a masculine motivation <for not having children>, but it isn’t necessarily so.”

Voluntary childlessness showed up less in textbooks in the 90s, but when it did, it tended to continue what the 80s started in terms of dispelling myths associated with some of the myths of not having children by choice.  In contrast to the 50s,  the messaging was more that it was ”brave” to go against the norm with this choice.

From this study anyway, it sounds like textbooks have been tended to be more non-judgmental than what the childfree often experience on the ground. 

But what about  in the last decade, 2000-2010? How are the childfree portrayed in instructional materials? Teachers, educators anyone out there who has information on this, please write in!

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In addition to this blog, I have a new site–a book site called LiveTrue Books: NonFiction for Living True to Self & Our World! If you like non-fiction…and will enjoy reading topics that relate to all the ways one can “live true” in life, this site is for you. Check out the range of ……LiveTrue topic areas, from books about and for men, to politics, psychology, sociology, relationships, religion/spirituality, sustainable living, and women’s topics.

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