Families of Two: the childfree a decade later

Last Fall Oregon Public Broadcasting’s Think Out Loud Show did a piece on “As We Are: Childfree.” Tiffany Lee Brown, a writer and artist, was a guest on the show, and told an interesting story about her experience of the biological clock.  She decided not to have children in her 20’s, mostly because she felt that living an artist’s lifestyle would be incompatible with parenthood.

But at about 40, she says she got “slammed” by the biological clock. An intense need came over her body, and she was “wrestling it down” to preserve other areas of her life. She is married and is a step-parent to her husband’s daughter. Her husband doesn’t want to have more children, she has an awesome step kid, so although her body was crying out to have a child, she decided to remain “biologically child-free.” 

She makes the point that by not honoring our biological urge we deny a most basic need – one that comes from the reptilian part of our brains. This made me think of the many childfree women I’ve talked with …

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Wow — Dr. Phil takes on the many faces of the  modern family.  In the intro clip he does say “There’s no right or wrong way to have a family.”  However, the article on his site gives it a good shot, but does not get to the heart of the matter.  On the show he interviews a childfree couple, and the woman remarks that while she had concerns about a change in lifestyle, he does not seem to take seriously the fact that she says that she and her husband just do not have a burning desire to be parents.  This is what I found in interviewing couples for Families of Two. Underneath their relationship, financial and lifestyle concerns was often a genuine lack of desire to be a parent.  And for others, their level of desire to become parents just did not outweigh their concerns.

He also says that “some” parents express having regret, which is ironic because.. (more…)