Tara’s lessons for parents and young flyers:

“HELL is someone else’s children on a long-haul flight. But don’t automatically blame the youngsters. Children who misbehave usually do so because they are allowed to by their parents. I’ve travelled extensively with my children, aged 12 and seven, and I admit that I’ve always boarded with some apprehension and a quiet prayer: “Please, let my kids behave.” And they have. I’ve taught them travel etiquette from a young age. I’ve made sure they know how to behave. I don’t want my children to bother other people and, somewhat selfishly, I don’t want them to bother me.

Travelling is my great passion and I’ve always wanted to share that with my children, not struggle through it with them. These are some of the things I’ve taught them.

No kicking. I’ve had a child kick the back of my seat continuously from Tokyo to Hong Kong and when I politely asked his parents to ask him to stop, they behaved as if I was being unreasonable. They were unreasonable and their son was a monster. Under no circumstances should your child kick the seat in front. I usually remove my children’s shoes on long-haul flights, just in case they kick accidentally.

Be prepared. Have your child carry a separate bag, with carefully chosen boredom busters inside. Keep smaller toys and games in Ziploc bags, for easy access. There’s nothing more frustrating than searching a backpack for one elusive piece of Lego.

Ensure your child always wears shoes to the toilet. You’d be surprised how many people don’t.

Don’t let your child run up and down the aisles, ever. They need to learn to be patient, and to sit in their seats. Children who run along the aisles with parents behind, smiling wearily, are irritating for all other passengers. If your child is restless, take him or her regularly to the back of the plane to stretch and play a few games. Then it’s back to the seat.

Don’t let your child stand up and peer over the seat at the passengers behind. What might appear cute to you can wear thin on others quickly.

For younger children, break the flight into sections to help pass the time: sleep time, play time, reading time, movie time, meal time, stretching time.

Encourage your child to play or read alone. You shouldn’t be expected to provide constant entertainment. A bit of effort in this department when they’re younger means you’ll have independent little travellers before you know it.

Reinforce the need to be polite, patient and quiet. Children need to know that flight attendants have other people to deal with, and they are not the only ones on the plane. If children know what is expected of them, they will most likely exceed your expectations. Kids are like that.”

Until more airlines offer childfree flights, and I have to sit next to or near parents and their kids on planes, I want to it be parents like Jane Tara and what I predict are her well-behaved kids!

What other suggestions do you have?

Here’s what you said:

The February question is:  How has being childfree had the most positive impact on your life? What do you foresee as future positive impacts?

To answer, click this question in the On-the-Ground section to your right!

Gruenfeld explains this new wave as one in which women can finally “own their own power by just being women, where you don’t have to see that as totally incompatible. You can be feminine and be a totally powerful person.”  And part of that power comes from figuring out how to manage one’s professional and personal life.

Sandberg has been able to that–she manages her professional life with the raising of two children, and believes that “sharing leadership starts in the home,” with the splitting of domestic side of family life.  She has a 50-50 partnership with her husband, Dave Goldberg, CEO of Survey Monkey, and that this is key to seeing more gender equality in the workplace. Sandberg thinks it “starts with parity in the division of labor at home, “because wives who shoulder more of the burden of child care and housework than their husbands are more likely to lower their professional ambitions or drop out of the workforce altogether.”

Now parity of division of labor leading to more women in powerful business positions would mark some real change.  I like how she advises women to “choose their life partners wisely, to make sure they will be supportive of their professional careers.”

However, when Sandberg talks about how a woman should manage her career, she as a symbol of change comes up short — for me anyway. She advises women to keep striving for jobs they will love “especially before they have children.”   She also says to “keep your foot the gas pedal until the very day you need to leave to “take a break for a child.”

This kind of advice reflects the pronatalist assumption that women will at some point have a child. What would be a sign of real new wave symbol is if she gave the above advice, sure, but also and first the advice to think about whether you want to have children at all, and if you don’t want them, that’s a completely legitimate choice.

It will be sign of real change when women in powerful positions like Sandberg speak from the clear mentality that motherhood is optional, and does not have to be part of “having it all.” “All” can mean many things, not just balancing work inside and outside the home.

A woman quoted in the article says, “Thankfully, there are women like Sheryl who show I can do this while still having a very fulfilling personal life.” It will be a real sign of change when female leaders like Sandberg promote the reality that a “very fulfilling personal life” can include motherhood, but does not necessarily have to.

What powerful women do you know of who have clearly spoken to this reality? I don’t mean that they have said they are not  having children, but that they hold this belief?

Get this.  As the article says,  the  birth business is “worth more than $30 billion a year”–and “limousine labor,” that includes things such as total room redecoration, birth teams with massage therapists, chefs and more are not just for the Beyonce celebrity births. The 1% likes the first class treatment too, says  Ellie Miller, a co-founder of Ellie & Melissa Baby Planners.

Many hospitals have “VIP” wings with “hotel -like accommodations.” And according to the American Academy of Private Physicians, the number of “concierge doctors,” those who don’t take insurance and charge membership fees, has increased 46% in the last 18 months.

Not only does all the baby bump media make getting pregnant cool, the luxury birth business ups the ante to the rich and famous way to give birth to your baby. Better save your money though. Hospitals across the country who offer “luxe maternity”  have everything from hard wood  floors, a 24/7 personal aide, and other kinds of posh hotel amenities, and can charge around $4000 a day, which is more than most standard hospitals charge for the whole kit and kaboodle of delivering a baby thing, Time says.

Pronatalism glorifies pregnancy and the raising of children; this kind of thing adds to the glorification by pushing red carpet delivery.  And the bigger this business gets, the cooler luxury delivery will be, no matter if you can afford it or not.

This kind of thing makes hospitals profit centers. Well, I guess they largely already are, the way our health care system in the States is designed. But this takes it to a new level–the fusion of high end hotel with delivery room, and all the products and services related to each of them. And the more profit we see, the more powerful all that is pro-baby continues to be.

What have you seen out there regarding the high end birth business?

Carmel. What a charming little town, and one of the best little stretches of beaches in California, in my humble opinion. Here are just three must do’s in Carmel:

1. The obvious–walk a good stretch of the beach, or do the whole thing. It is not that long. On the north end you will have the backdrop of the famous golf course here (if you are into that). Going south, it’s backed by bluffs and big cypress trees and amazing homes.  My morning beach walks spotted very few if any kids.

2. Eat well! And it is easy to do that. I like breakfast at one of Carmel’s oldest restaurants, Em Le’s, lunch at A.W. Schuck’s (yes, it’s an oyster bar and more)  for their “ruby” chowder (an interesting blend of white and Manhattan style made fresh), and the famous Hog’s Breath for dinner. Although Clint Eastwood sold it years ago now, his spirit remains, and the food still great.

3. Do an art gallery crawl. Known for its art galleries, the north side of Ocean Ave. seems to have more of the galleries, and one I especially like is Dawson Cole Fine Art. Check out sculptor Richard MacDonald’s work they have showing there now. This guy is into the human body, does wild things to bronze to give it interesting color, and his work is world renowned.

Of course there are slews of high end shops, but find myself drifting off the main center and checking out the neighborhoods  instead.  If you are into home architecture the eclectic range will delight.  I am sure families with children do live here, but in the neighborhood near the center I get more of a feel of residents who, if they had kids, are done raising them, and are on to other chapters in life.

Visitors are from all over the world, and the lion’s share, at least during my visit-were certainly an adult crowd enjoying this fantastic spot.

What other California destinations do you know of that would tend to be less “family with kids” oriented–your experience please!