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The End of Your Life Book Club Hardcover – Deckle Edge, October 2, 2012

4.3 out of 5 stars 3,874 ratings

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“What are you reading?”

That’s the question Will Schwalbe asks his mother, Mary Anne, as they sit in the waiting room of the Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center. In 2007, Mary Anne returned from a humanitarian trip to Pakistan and Afghanistan suffering from what her doctors believed was a rare type of hepatitis. Months later she was diagnosed with a form of advanced pancreatic cancer, which is almost always fatal, often in six months or less.

This is the inspiring true story of a son and his mother, who start a “book club” that brings them together as her life comes to a close. Over the next two years, Will and Mary Anne carry on conversations that are both wide-ranging and deeply personal, prompted by an eclectic array of books and a shared passion for reading. Their list jumps from classic to popular, from poetry to mysteries, from fantastic to spiritual. The issues they discuss include questions of faith and courage as well as everyday topics such as expressing gratitude and learning to listen. Throughout, they are constantly reminded of the power of books to comfort us, astonish us, teach us, and tell us what we need to do with our lives and in the world. Reading isn’t the opposite of doing; it’s the opposite of dying.

Will and Mary Anne share their hopes and concerns with each other—and rediscover their lives—through their favorite books. When they read, they aren’t a sick person and a well person, but a mother and a son taking a journey together. The result is a profoundly moving tale of loss that is also a joyful, and often humorous, celebration of life: Will’s love letter to his mother, and theirs to the printed page. 

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Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

Amazon Best Books of the Month, October 2012: Tissues at the ready, I braced myself for The End of Your Life Book Club, Will Schwalbe’s memoir of his mother’s death from pancreatic cancer. But Mary Anne Schwalbe is such a fierce, unsentimental heroine--and her son such a frank and funny storyteller--that what could have been an emotional roller coaster turns out to be a beautifully paced ride. Mary Anne loves a good book as ardently as she loves her kids and her causes, chief among them a campaign to build a library in Afghanistan. When her health starts to fail, Will joins her for hospital appointments. They wait, they talk, and they read together--everything they’ve ever wanted to discuss. As much an homage to literature as to the mother who shared it with him, Will’s chronicle of this heartrending time opens up his captivating family to the rest of us. We should all be so lucky as to read along with the Schwalbes. --Mia Lipman

Amazon Exclusive: An Essay by Will Schwalbe

For twenty-one years I worked in book publishing, mostly in editorial, acquiring the rights to manuscripts, working with authors to help shape their works, and trying to convince the world to pay attention to the various, wonderful books we were publishing. I learned from some of the all time great editors and publishers. But part of my publishing education went way, way back – to before I could read a word myself.

When I was a young child, before I went to sleep, my mother, like so many parents, would read me a book. My brother, eighteen months older, got his own book read to him. Later, my sister, four years younger, would have her own.

My mother was a working mother (a phrase she always disliked, as she rightly pointed out that no one talks of “working fathers”), so she wasn’t always home at night. She sometimes worked late, and she travelled for business, and, even when she and my dad were in town, they occasionally were out for dinner. But if she was home, she read us each a book before bed.

My early favorites included The Story of Ferdinand by Munro Leaf and Harold and Purple Crayon by Crockett Johnson. I loved that there was a bull who liked to smell flowers and wouldn’t fight, and I was amazed by the boy who could draw himself out of any jam. But the experience was far more than the books themselves. First, there was the comfort and security of being tucked into bed. (Is it coincidence that we use the phrase “tuck into” before three of my favorite things: food, bed, and good books, or is it because the pleasures of each have so much in common?) Then, there was the happy, selfish knowledge that, when it was my turn, I would be able to monopolize my mother’s attention just by sitting and listening.

But what I remember most is the way Mom made us feel that she was sharing something she loved with us, not completing a chore or performing a ritual. (Though I’m sure there were many nights when she was exhausted and would have loved to be in bed herself and fast asleep.) And when we shared the books, we also shared discussions about them. Why didn’t the men understand that Ferdinand just didn’t want to fight? There’s no one answer, but it’s a question Mom and I explored together time and again.

Later, I would start to read to myself of course. But it was the nightly reading with Mom that helped me become a reader – and probably pushed me toward the career in book publishing. From Mom, I learned that there’s a public pleasure in books as well as a private one; that sharing books you love and getting others to read them can create a powerful bond, not just between a parent and child, but among thousands or millions of strangers.

Review

“A wonderful book about wonderful books and mothers and sons and the enduring braid between them. Like the printed volumes it celebrates, this story will stay with you long after the last page.”
--Mitch Albom, author of
Tuesdays with Morrie and The Time Keeper

“Will Schwalbe’s lyrical tribute to a life well-lived and a death graced with love and literature is a precious gift bestowed on all of us. What a unique and beautiful book this is, and how privileged we are to have it.”
--Sherwin B. Nuland, author of
The Art of Aging and How We Die

“With a refreshing forthrightness, and an excellent list of books included, this is an astonishing, pertinent, and wonderfully welcome work.”
--
Publishers Weekly (starred)

“Will Schwalbe’s brave and soulful elegy to his remarkable mother, his recollection of their sparklingly literate conversations, is a timely reminder that one exceptional person, or one exceptional book, can be a torch in the darkness. You’ll turn the last page wishing you’d met Mary Anne Schwalbe, vowing to be worthy of her incandescent example—and promising yourself to read more.”
--J.R. Moehringer, author of
The Tender Bar

“Will Schwalbe gives us two love stories in one: that of his relationship with his dynamo of a mother as her horizons shrink, and that of their mutual devotion to the printed word, infinitely and insistently engaging. Tender and touching and beautifully done.”
--Stacy Schiff, author of
Cleopatra

“This touching and insightful memoir [will] appeal to readers of
Tuesdays with Morrie and The Last Lecture, but also to people who love delving into books and book discussions . . . While it is a story about death, it is mostly a celebration of life and of the way books can enrich it.”
--Booklist (starred)

“I was so moved by this marvelous book. Schwalbe has done something extraordinary: made a personal journey public in the most engaging, funny and revealing way possible. It is a true meditation on what books can do.”
--Edmund de Waal, author of
The Hare with the Amber Eyes

“In a heartfelt tribute to his mother, Schwalbe illustrates the power of the written word to expand our knowledge of ourselves and others.”
--
Kirkus Reviews

“At last a book that celebrates the role books play within our own story. Will Schwalbe has created a tender, moving and honest portrayal of the precious relationship between a mother and son—an ode to that beautiful thing called love.”
--Cecelia Ahern, author of
PS, I Love You

“This book is a passionate, purposeful and elegant guide to human existence. Living life, learning life and loving life. And ultimately, accepting life’s end. Mary Anne and Will have given us an exquisite gift. For a better life, better family and better world, read this moving elegy from a gifted and loving son to an extraordinary mother”
--David Rohde, coauthor of
A Rope and a Prayer

“An extraordinarily wise, witty, and quietly wrenching book about parental love, filial love, profound grief, and literature’s great consolations. How wonderful to encounter a writer who combines erudition with great emotional honesty, and who isn’t afraid of addressing life’s most profound and baffling questions.”
--Douglas Kennedy,
The Woman in the Fifth

Product details

  • ASIN ‏ : ‎ 0307594033
  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Knopf
  • Publication date ‏ : ‎ October 2, 2012
  • Edition ‏ : ‎ 1st
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Print length ‏ : ‎ 352 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 0307594037
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0307594037
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 1.01 pounds
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.63 x 1.37 x 8.17 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.3 out of 5 stars 3,874 ratings

About the author

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Will Schwalbe
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Greetings! Since we are both here, I’m guessing you are probably a fellow book-lover. Always great to meet other members of the tribe!

I’ve put a lot about myself in my books, but here are some of the basics. I was born in New York in 1962; grew up in Cambridge, Massachusetts; went to boarding school in New Hampshire, and to college in New Haven, Connecticut. So I consider myself a New Englander, even though I’m not one by birth.

I’ve worked as a journalist, in the television business, and even (briefly, in college) as a substitute teacher. But I’ve spent most of my life in publishing: at William Morrow, and then at Hyperion, where I was Editor in Chief. In January 2008, I left Hyperion to found a startup called Cookstr.com and ran that for six years. It’s now part of Macmillan Publishers, where I’ve worked since 2014.

Books have been the constant in my life. From those my mother read me when I was too young to read, to those my father read us when we could read but still liked to be read to. From books I read under the covers, long after I was supposed to be asleep—including every single thriller by the magnificent Alistair MacLean—to books that I found in my teens that helped me imagine all different kinds of lives, and see the world through others’ eyes.

I’ve written four books. The first -- SEND: Why People Email So Badly and How to Do it Better – was written with my friend David Shipley. The second, THE END OF YOUR LIFE BOOK CLUB, is about the books I read with my mother when she was dying. The third is BOOKS FOR LIVING, about the role books can play in our lives and how they can show us how to live each day more fully and with more meaning. And the fourth is WE SHOULD NOT BE FRIENDS: The Story of a Friendship. It's coming from Knopf in the US (and Michael Joseph in the UK) in February 2023.

I live in New York City with my husband. We’ve been together since way back when I first moved to Hong Kong in 1984. We have one African violet, that’s a bit lopsided; books everywhere; and are obsessed with our neighbor’s adorable dog, a chow named Lucky. We also have five godchildren, one niece, and four nephews.

I love meeting fellow readers and hearing from readers about all different kinds of book. I answer everyone, though sometimes it can take me a bit of time. My favorite question to ask or be asked is a simple one: “What are you reading?”

Customer reviews

4.3 out of 5 stars
3,874 global ratings

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Customers say

Customers find this memoir engaging, with its interspersed book reviews and moving story of a mother and son relationship. The book is well-written, with customers appreciating the balance between somber and humorous anecdotes, and one customer noting how it opened their eyes to greater thoughts. Customers praise the bond between mother and son, with one review highlighting how their shared love of books deepened their relationship. The book receives mixed feedback regarding its pacing.

681 customers mention "Readability"675 positive6 negative

Customers find the book highly readable, appreciating its love of literature and how it intersperses great short book reviews throughout the narrative.

"...Never underestimate the treasures that can be fond in good literature, be it by the pen of the old masters or the computer of modern creative minds...." Read more

"...In the end, this is still a wonderful read and the two minor issues should not prevent a serious reader from this wonderful book...." Read more

"...As Schwalbe shares the book discussions we learn about the remarkable and in many ways humble woman Mary Anne is as she shares her insights into the..." Read more

"...The best thing about this book is the compendium of books at the end. Some of these I'd read, a few I've added to my 'to do' list...." Read more

480 customers mention "Inspiration"476 positive4 negative

Customers find the book inspiring, with many noting how it opens their eyes to greater thoughts and provides pearls of wisdom. One customer describes it as a powerful book about life, while another mentions how it draws them into the book discussions.

"...What I found to be most moving and inspiring was the fact that this son opened up his mother's and his most private lives to me, the reader to share..." Read more

"...The book is highly quotable as Mr. Schwalbe's (using his mother's voice) puts forth beautiful turns of phrases and incredibly lyrical passages...." Read more

"...He also shares her faith as well as the relationship she had with her family members including her husband, Will and his siblings as well as their..." Read more

"...Anne read spanned many genres--fiction, mysteries, poetry, plays, psychology, religion, philosophy--and I was pleased that I had read a large number..." Read more

375 customers mention "Heartwarming story"356 positive19 negative

Customers find this memoir touching and deeply personal, describing it as a moving story of a mother and son.

"...The heroine is truly just that; a sincere, brilliant, brave, and wise woman who maneuvers the dark morass of cancer and its treatments to rise above..." Read more

"...Thus we learn this is a woman who both likes to read and who loves great stories, all in the midst of the ending of her particular tale...." Read more

"...The books range from pop fiction to classics and memoirs, and non-fiction...." Read more

"...I'm a huge sap, so this book was a powerful, inspirational, and emotional one for me, but so wonderfully written that I read the entire book in a day..." Read more

222 customers mention "Writing quality"189 positive33 negative

Customers praise the writing quality of the book, finding it delightful and easy to read, with one customer noting it provides a concise literary education.

"...volume after volume of worthy best efforts of truly unusual and gifted authors, especially those involved in refugee related situations, the Middle..." Read more

"...that Will and Mary Anne read spanned many genres--fiction, mysteries, poetry, plays, psychology, religion, philosophy--and I was pleased that I had..." Read more

"...Schwalbe is a very talented writer, and his approach to telling the story of his mother's final weeks, months and years is unique...." Read more

"This is an extremely well written non fiction account about a lady with terminal cancer, her end of life journey, and her relationship with her..." Read more

151 customers mention "Woman"151 positive0 negative

Customers describe the woman in the book as a remarkable and courageous individual, with one customer noting her extraordinary accomplishments.

"...The heroine is truly just that; a sincere, brilliant, brave, and wise woman who maneuvers the dark morass of cancer and its treatments to rise above..." Read more

"...had on her, doing so in a poignant way but also one that upholds her dignity...." Read more

"...about feelings and much less about the accomplishments of this exceptional woman and her equally privileged and industrious family would have been..." Read more

"...You don't need to have similar circumstances to appreciate his enormous talent, his sense of humor, or his love for the written word. Thanks Will!" Read more

145 customers mention "Sadness"113 positive32 negative

Customers appreciate the book's balance between somber and humorous anecdotes, noting it's not overly-sentimental and made them cry.

"...Truly--this book made me think and feel differently about the activity of reading--more of an active pursuit as opposed to the passive reception of..." Read more

"...As the title suggests, it is an ultimately tragic true story about how the author spent the last nearly two years of his mother’s life—after her..." Read more

"...to have similar circumstances to appreciate his enormous talent, his sense of humor, or his love for the written word. Thanks Will!" Read more

"...Schwalbe paints a family portrait that is engaging and in many ways relatable, even if your circumstances growing up were very different from his own..." Read more

110 customers mention "Relationship"107 positive3 negative

Customers appreciate the book's portrayal of loving relationships, particularly the touching bond between mother and son.

"...told, but I felt privileged to be allowed to share in this very intimate relationship, at this most vulnerable of times...." Read more

"...Reading books was a great way of connecting on a deeper level and exploring topics and ideas that would have remained a mystery between mother and..." Read more

"Very honest and sincere recollection of the relationship between an adult son and his mother, from her diagnosis of pancreatic cancer until her death..." Read more

"...Their relationship is warm and loving, but not co-dependent...." Read more

175 customers mention "Pacing"112 positive63 negative

Customers have mixed opinions about the pacing of the book, with some appreciating it as a tribute to a mother, while others find it dragging with too many details.

"Will Schwalbe's The End of Your Life Book Club is among the more unusual and rewarding books that I have read...." Read more

"...about this book, is that I felt like a semi-illiterate, slothful, undereducated, underachiever while reading it...." Read more

"...approach to telling the story of his mother's final weeks, months and years is unique...." Read more

"...And I felt uplifted by the grace, passion, and love--for her family, for humankind, and for books!--with which Mary Anne, Schwalbe's mother, lived..." Read more

So much heart packed into one easy read
5 out of 5 stars
So much heart packed into one easy read
So much heart packed into one easy read. Will has a great voice -- made his mother seem so real, even to a stranger. Beautiful tribute to her, and to books, kindness, and relationships.
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Top reviews from the United States

  • Reviewed in the United States on August 8, 2013
    Will Schwalbe's The End of Your Life Book Club is among the more unusual and rewarding books that I have read. Basing an entire work on the highest thoughts and concepts, of the best writers, from the truly most wonderful books is a unique idea. Someone of less skill than Schwalbe might not have been able to bring it off -but bring it off he did.

    Going inside the soul of an elegant and elderly woman dying of pancreatic cancer, and then using her love of reading to capture a storyline and make political statements, and advance worthy causes, and inspire the reader to greatness is genius.

    Subordinating pain and suffering to a higher cause is an absolute necessity if there is to be true quality of life after receiving a death sentence by an oncologist. The author reaches out to Buddhism, Judaism, Christianity, and various other world philosophies, and presents the best of their foundations.

    The speaker appears as the protagonist who is no superman, nor is he one with all the answers, and is himself flawed as he flounders in his own search for meaning in life. The fact that he is gay is handled very well and does not become the guiding issue or a distracter in the book. It is in fact an important facet in this literary jewel.

    The heroine is truly just that; a sincere, brilliant, brave, and wise woman who maneuvers the dark morass of cancer and its treatments to rise above discomfort and function in her role as a doer of good deeds, champion of just causes, and lover of her family. What I found to be most moving and inspiring was the fact that this son opened up his mother's and his most private lives to me, the reader to share intimacies of true worth as they voraciously read volume after volume of worthy best efforts of truly unusual and gifted authors, especially those involved in refugee related situations, the Middle East conflict, and the atrocities in Africa.

    I've written twelve novels and grown to deeply appreciate works that were created out of the pain and sacrifice of the true heroes of the world -those that have paid tremendous dues to enter the fraternity or sorority of writers and whose stories have been refined in the crucible of life.

    The reader will take something away from this book as he or she says goodbye to Mary Anne Schwalbe and wishes her son Will the very best as he continues his reading sans his only book club partner. But I did shed a soulful tear at the quiet passing of a gentle lady and the grieving of a son who is still trying to find his own peace. Take care, however; this is a real situation that we all must face, and this book brings the reality of it into the reader's life to be dealt with now.

    I could go on and on about this book because it just opens one door after another and they all lead to touching on the deep secrets of death and dying and living a life enhanced by suffering, yet unscathed by fear of the unknown.

    Never underestimate the treasures that can be fond in good literature, be it by the pen of the old masters or the computer of modern creative minds. There were times in the book when I would have lessened the verbiage only later to realize that the rhetoric always built to a crescendo of wisdom and satisfaction experienced nowhere else. Mitch Albom's Tuesday's with Morrie instantly became one of my favorite books when it was first published. The End of Your Life Book Club ranks right up there with it.

    I will say that this book should be read with an open mind and a brave heart, especially if you are a cancer survivor or patient. I will quote an unknown sayer of great words. "Life is short and death is sure, the hour of death remains obscure." Read as much as you can in your short life!
    3 people found this helpful
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  • Reviewed in the United States on December 27, 2012
    I had cancer in my mid thirties....and I am a mother. In other words, Will Schwalbe's writes about my worst nightmare: dying from cancer prematurely. For that reason, I really hesitated before picking up this book and it took some convincing.

    Boy--am I glad I did.

    The End of Your Life Book Club begins like a memoir about cancer, but fairly quickly, it lets you in on the fact that this is really a story about a remarkable life. One of the joys in this book is getting to know his formidable Mary Anne Schwalbe--a woman who accomplished and experienced more in her lifetime than most. For indeed, Mary Anne Schwalbe led both an enviable and remarkable life of public service and accomplishments all the while raising her family that includes equally accomplished children and grandchildren. Brilliantly, Mr. Schwalbe doesn't go there on page one. Instead, he introducers her in pieces. At the beginning of the book, you see her through his lens: a spry, elderly and over involved mama. You end the book wanting to give Mrs. Schwalbe a standing ovation of the type of life she led and it is a feat of writing that this is revealed slowly, versus the tomes that are read, and the anectodes he shares.

    A person that productive and that effective is bound to be able to teach a lot of life lessons and I did find myself highlighting all kinds of little nuggets of wisdoms. The book is highly quotable as Mr. Schwalbe's (using his mother's voice) puts forth beautiful turns of phrases and incredibly lyrical passages.

    The love affair with books will likely impact my view on reading for the rest of my life. Truly--this book made me think and feel differently about the activity of reading--more of an active pursuit as opposed to the passive reception of information. Indeed, walked away with a reading list--especially since at the beginning we learn that Mrs. Schwalbe's favorite books were mine as well: John Irving's A Prayer for Owen Meany and Margaret Mitchell's Gone With the Wind. Thus we learn this is a woman who both likes to read and who loves great stories, all in the midst of the ending of her particular tale. The obvious connection between the author and his mother tugs at the heart throughout and especially in a very touching scene towards the end of the book when he begins to face what he will be missing once she is gone.

    Here is what I did not like....or rather the reservations I would feel recommending this book to a friend.

    For one--the Schwalbe family's patrician lifestyle is not particularly relatable to the average reader. For example--not many of us have friends who will casually drop a million dollar contribution for our charity on a whim nor do we have the means to start a charity that funds a library system in Kabul. Had Mr. Schwalbe addressed this nuance up front, I might have been more apt to give this book a rating of five. However--his assumption that we would either "get it" or perhaps just understand that a card-carrying WASP, "we just don't talk about it" fell short. It needed to be addressed. How can we absorb the simple life lessons all the while noting the immeasurable differences in our manners of living?

    Similarly, Mrs. Schwalbe has two gay children: Mr. Schwalbe and his sister. I speak both as a mother and a fervent supporter of gay rights in saying this, but I found it discomfiting that her reaction to both children coming out was never discussed. Don't get me wrong--it was refreshing to have it seem like a non issue, but it was not exactly presented by an objective third party. Even if he had spent ONE paragraph on this, it would have been illuminating. After all, no matter how progressive Mrs. Schwalbe appears to be, she is still a product of her era where a gay son and a gay daughter must have at least given her one moment of pause. Again--a paragraph could have addressed our curiosity and could have informed the rest of us how to make the non-issue it needs to be.....

    In the end, this is still a wonderful read and the two minor issues should not prevent a serious reader from this wonderful book. I am privileged for having met Mrs. Schwalbe, albeit in a literary setting, and I walked away inspired with my own life and eager to read some of the books in the club.
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Top reviews from other countries

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  • Placeholder
    5.0 out of 5 stars A better person
    Reviewed in India on August 1, 2021
    Such a moving and powerful story of love, relationship, service and how to lead a good life. We have just one life… lead it well!
  • Vicuña
    5.0 out of 5 stars Powerful and thought provoking.
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on June 20, 2013
    Firstly, I urge you not to be put off reading this book by any preconceptions about the subject matter. There are certainly many moving moments throughout the book, but overall, it's a testament to the life of an extraordinary lady. Both her personal achievements and, perhaps more importantly, her philosophy of life. And this is very much a book about living. It's also a literary journey, with the illness of the author's mother providing a framework to explore so many incredible books.

    The discussions about books don't include spoilers and very helpfully, there's an appendix which lists all titles discussed. This really is what I'd call a 'readers book'. There are so many literary references; a memory lane trip if you've already read the books and an exciting taster for titles unread. For many reasons, it's one of the most powerful and thought provoking books I've read. It describes heartbreak without being mawkish or over sentimental. It's an inspired and inspiring tribute to a selfless, unassuming individual and through her experiences, I've taken a number of very positive lessons about life. Will Schwalbe has every reason to be proud of this work and I feel certain his mother will look upon it with a smile.
  • Amazon Customer
    5.0 out of 5 stars Excelente
    Reviewed in Spain on September 28, 2015
    Es la historia de un hijo y su madre enferma de cáncer que deciden pasar el tiempo que les queda juntos leyendo y comentando libros. Aparte de la historia auténtica de la familia, el libro es también una guía de literatura muy interesante. Altamente recomendable.
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  • Karin Urban
    5.0 out of 5 stars Literatur als Lebensmittel = Mittel zum Leben
    Reviewed in Germany on February 20, 2013
    Für mich als ehemalige Biliothekarin haben Bücher immer eine zentrale Rolle in meinem Leben gespielt, mir Trost gespendet, mich unterhalten, mich inspiriert. Dieses Buch ist die Quintessenz all dessen. Eine todkranke Frau und ihr Sohn lesen und tauschen sich über das Gelesene aus. Es erleichtert es ihnen, zu den so schwer anzusprechenden persönlichen Themen vorzudringen, wirklich über sich selbst und ihre Beziehung ins Gespräch zu kommen. Obwohl die Mutter am Ende stirbt, ist es kein trauriges, sondern ein ermutigendes Buch, das das Leben und die Literatur feiert.
  • edouard cointreau
    5.0 out of 5 stars This book has become a close friend
    Reviewed in France on July 17, 2015
    I have had this book for a while now. and it is always not far from me. I get back to it often, as I read the books that I had missed on the list recommended by the author. This book really helped me get over the death of my own mother, it is excellent therapy, and worked for me. The book has become a close friend, even a new member of my family. Home is where this book is.