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Thanks for Coming: One Young Woman's Quest for an Orgasm Paperback – April 14, 2009
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By turns uproarious and touching, the memoir of a young woman's search for an orgasm—and for the elusive connections between sex and love
Twenty-six-year-old Mara Altman wanted to know what all the screaming was about. She'd lost her virginity at seventeen; grown up in southern California with sexually free parents; had lovers in India, Burma, and Peru; and spent a year in Bangkok observing all manner of depravity. And yet she was an attractive, successful, single woman in New York who'd never had an orgasm.
And so she embarked on a wildly funny, emotionally resonant odyssey—a journey both inside and outside herself—only to discover that, for Mara, orgasm was connected to a part of her that no vibrator could reach. Thanks for Coming is one woman's look at our obsession with and anxiety over the female orgasm. Her quest to get her own yields poignant results that will surprise even the sexually awakened among us. From sex shows to sex conventions, from a therapist's couch to her own couch, from the bedroom to the bar, Mara Altman proves to be a guide as hilarious as she is investigative.
- Print length400 pages
- LanguageEnglish
- Publication dateApril 14, 2009
- Dimensions5.31 x 0.9 x 8 inches
- ISBN-100061577111
- ISBN-13978-0061577116
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From the Back Cover
By turns uproarious and touching, the memoir of a young woman's search for an orgasm—and for the elusive connections between sex and love
Twenty-six-year-old Mara Altman wanted to know what all the screaming was about. She'd lost her virginity at seventeen; grown up in southern California with sexually free parents; had lovers in India, Burma, and Peru; and spent a year in Bangkok observing all manner of depravity. And yet she was an attractive, successful, single woman in New York who'd never had an orgasm.
And so she embarked on a wildly funny, emotionally resonant odyssey—a journey both inside and outside herself—only to discover that, for Mara, orgasm was connected to a part of her that no vibrator could reach. Thanks for Coming is one woman's look at our obsession with and anxiety over the female orgasm. Her quest to get her own yields poignant results that will surprise even the sexually awakened among us. From sex shows to sex conventions, from a therapist's couch to her own couch, from the bedroom to the bar, Mara Altman proves to be a guide as hilarious as she is investigative.
About the Author
Mara Altman received her M.S. in journalism from Columbia University in 2005. A former staff writer at the Village Voice, she has also written for the New York Times and New York. She lives in Brooklyn.
Product details
- Publisher : Harper Perennial
- Publication date : April 14, 2009
- Language : English
- Print length : 400 pages
- ISBN-10 : 0061577111
- ISBN-13 : 978-0061577116
- Item Weight : 10.4 ounces
- Dimensions : 5.31 x 0.9 x 8 inches
- Best Sellers Rank: #3,793,316 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #640 in General Sexual Health
- #927 in General Gender Studies
- #1,016 in Medical Psychology of Sexuality
- Customer Reviews:
About the author

Mara Altman writes about life, often focusing on issues that embarrass her (i.e. chin hair), because she has found that putting shame on the page defuses the stigma, leaving her with a sense of empowerment and freedom. Her debut picture book, A Little Shelf Love, promotes bold self acceptance while also giving a primer on plant facts.
Mara feels most inspired when walking across bridges and lives the perpetual Catch-22 of not being able to go to sleep without first drinking a glass of water, but then having to get up to pee at 3 a.m. She reminds herself that things could always be worse. Then she's stuck thinking about all the bad things that could happen. And then she can't get back to sleep.
Mara has published seven best-selling Kindle Singles and two Audible Originals. Her second book, Gross Anatomy: Dispatches From the Front (And Back), was a semi-finalist for the Thurber Prize for American Humor. Thanks for Coming, her first book, which follows her on an adventure to find her orgasm, was translated into three languages - German, Spanish and Portuguese. The book was also optioned by HBO. Before going freelance, she worked at daily newspapers both in India and Thailand and was a staff writer for the Village Voice. Her work has appeared in The New York Times, New York Magazine and other outlets.
Customer reviews
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Learn more how customers reviews work on AmazonCustomers say
Customers find the book humorous and entertaining, with one describing it as an amusing romp. Moreover, the book is insightful, with one customer noting the author's thorough research, and customers appreciate its honesty. However, the author quality receives negative feedback, with one customer describing it as a self-serving attempt to write a book.
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Customers enjoy the book's humor, describing it as an amusing and hysterical read.
"...Two pages into it, I was already hooked. I also thought: funny, insightful, neurotic as hell, liberal, guilt ridden, self-effacing - she's gotta be..." Read more
"...And it not all self-reflection and sex education. This book is damn funny and highly addicting. I could not put this book down...." Read more
"Cruel honesty and a ton of humor, it takes a smart author to compose such an enjoyable account of an uncommon search. I really enjoyed this book." Read more
"...Totally enjoyable reading with touching and humorous anecdotes about the young female experience... it brought back so many memories, good and..." Read more
Customers find the book insightful and to the point, with one customer noting that the author clearly researched the subject and another mentioning how it made them stop and think about the topic.
"...Two pages into it, I was already hooked. I also thought: funny, insightful, neurotic as hell, liberal, guilt ridden, self-effacing - she's gotta be..." Read more
"...This is not a sleezy sex book. This is a journey toward discovering ones one self that all of us could only dream of having the guts to go on...." Read more
"...Still, I found it an entertaining read. It's a good effort by Altman to take a look at a subject not much openly discussed...." Read more
"Very intelligent and hilarious story. Actually got more insight into the parents than her quest :)" Read more
Customers appreciate the book's honesty.
"...What I found was an incredibly engaging, almost painfully honest, hilarious, insightful book about human relations - physical and otherwise...." Read more
"Cruel honesty and a ton of humor, it takes a smart author to compose such an enjoyable account of an uncommon search. I really enjoyed this book." Read more
"...The author is completely open and honest about this topic. I respect her wanting to share such personal information with the public." Read more
"I am surprised that there are only 8 reviews, this book is insightful, honest and hysterical. Couldn't put it down." Read more
Customers express negative opinions about the author's quality, with one customer describing it as a self-serving attempt to write a book.
"...give it to an inexperienced younger person, I could not believe the naievety and stupidity of the author...." Read more
"...This book is neither funny nor interesting. It is a blatantly self serving attempt to write a book...any book!..." Read more
"Amusing romp through author's search for the elusive. Somewhat immature, predicable. Entertaining...." Read more
Top reviews from the United States
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- Reviewed in the United States on August 20, 2012Format: KindleVerified PurchaseI absolutely loved this book! Full disclosure: I'm a man. I was browsing the Kindle Store and happened upon a book about a woman's search for an orgasm. Don't ask what I was searching for. Okay, the subject matter piqued my interest. What could go wrong with a book about a woman searching for an orgasm? Plenty, actually. It could be boring, like she was shopping for the perfect pair of pumps (shoes, that is). She could blame all her frustrations on men. She could be a lousy writer. What I found was an incredibly engaging, almost painfully honest, hilarious, insightful book about human relations - physical and otherwise. Two pages into it, I was already hooked. I also thought: funny, insightful, neurotic as hell, liberal, guilt ridden, self-effacing - she's gotta be Jewish! Her humor lured me in, but her insights are what really set the hook. I couldn't put it down. I was amazed at her courage; her journey bordered on the dangerous, and she was often on the wrong side of the border. But she pulled through, with me slavishly following her through each of her incredible adventures. It was a great trip, a great read. In the end, I understood her, women, and myself just a little bit better. And isn't that the most you could possibly hope for in a book?
- Reviewed in the United States on May 4, 2009Format: PaperbackVerified PurchaseSeriously. Every female would have their life changed by reading this book. And men would finally lean something about women if they gave this book a shot. This is not a sleezy sex book. This is a journey toward discovering ones one self that all of us could only dream of having the guts to go on. Fortunately for us, we can learn a lot from Mara's incrediably brave journey. And it not all self-reflection and sex education. This book is damn funny and highly addicting. I could not put this book down. I think my boyfriend started to get worried.
Do the world a favor everyone, read this book!!!
- Reviewed in the United States on January 27, 2014Format: KindleVerified PurchaseCruel honesty and a ton of humor, it takes a smart author to compose such an enjoyable account of an uncommon search. I really enjoyed this book.
- Reviewed in the United States on January 31, 2013Format: PaperbackVerified PurchaseAs I was reading this book considering whether to give it to an inexperienced younger person, I could not believe the naievety and stupidity of the author. I would be truly embarrassed to give this book to anyone to read as a self help (or any kind of help) book. For a woman in her mid-to late-20s having sexual encounters the way she was spoke volumes about her insecurities and inability to not be controlling and not be trustful in every moment of her life. While reading the book at first I thought some of her excursions were a bit funny but then I realized she was just messed up and it became very boring. There are many women out there who cannot have orgasms due to physical issues (muscle diseases, etc.). But this young woman is an A personality who coldn't get over herself. I'm sorry she wrote the book and I'm even more sorry I bought it and read it.
- Reviewed in the United States on January 18, 2014Format: KindleVerified PurchaseI laughed so much my husband kept asking me what was so funny. Totally enjoyable reading with touching and humorous anecdotes about the young female experience... it brought back so many memories, good and embarrassing! I highly recommend this to others no matter your age (young adult and beyond), orientation or sex.
- Reviewed in the United States on October 15, 2012Format: KindleVerified PurchaseI was a bit disappointed. I was hoping for more of a memoir, a story that I could relate to. This was not that. The author went to all these doctors and sex experts trying to find an orgasm like it was a set of keys she had misplaced. It lacked the ability to connect to the reader. I felt like I was reading research for an article, rather than a personal journey.
- Reviewed in the United States on February 13, 2013Format: KindleVerified PurchaseThis book won't be listed among the world's great works of literature. Still, I found it an entertaining read. It's a good effort by Altman to take a look at a subject not much openly discussed. Inviting the world in to come along on her search for orgasm couldn't have been easy but she did it with self depreciating style. It's one person's quest and she invited everyone along for the ride. The best part, from my perspective, was reading about all the different viewpoints on female orgasm. If you're looking for War and Peace, don't bother. If you're looking for a fun read on an interesting topic you could do worse. I'm glad I read it. Just for the record, I'm male.
- Reviewed in the United States on August 28, 2017Format: KindleVerified PurchaseVery intelligent and hilarious story. Actually got more insight into the parents than her quest :)
Top reviews from other countries
- Kate GouldReviewed in the United Kingdom on March 15, 2015
5.0 out of 5 stars Fabulous, inspiring read.
Format: PaperbackVerified PurchaseI loved this book. It's a courageous, thoughtful, surprising, funny, and touching account of a young woman's attempts to figure out her body and its workings. This book should be required reading as an inspiring insight into the complexities and many meanings of pleasure.
- John DenningReviewed in the United Kingdom on August 10, 2013
5.0 out of 5 stars Just terrific
Format: PaperbackVerified PurchaseI have seldom enjoyed a book so much. I've never met anyone who has heard of it but you buy this and ignore 50 Shades for heaven's sake.