In part as a nod to Women’s History month, the March On-the-Ground Question was:
Who is your favorite childfree woman and why? She can be dead or alive, famous or not, someone you know personally, any childfree woman!
Here’s what you said:
The April Question is:
What do you get the most from participating in online childfree communities? And in your opinion, how could the online childfree community improve as a whole?
Laura, you touched a tender spot with me when you asked these questions.
I’m very picky about the CF communities that I get involved with. I’ve not had a lot of success with them. I like your website and FB page because you keep everything positive and upbeat! And I cannot tell you how much I appreciate you for being not just a good role model, but a respected spokesperson for the CF. Folks like you — who look at the bright side of the CF life — make us shine. 🙂
But this quality is what I see lacking in a lot of CF groups and forums. I’ve joined a few in the past. What I thought I was signing up for were groups were adults talked about everything else BUT children, such as politics, culture, art, literature, movies, etc. I wanted a place where I didn’t have to wade through the “mommy chatter.” And so many times I’ve been disappointed by online CF communities because there’s a weird focus on just this very thing …
I frankly don’t want to waste my time airing my grievances about parents and their children. Just because parenting is not my choice in life doesn’t mean that I dislike children (or parents). And yet there’s a lot of well-articulated anger/rage against children and the childed on some of these sites that I find extremely unnerving and downright scary.
This is such a turn-off. When I see that happening, I tune out and log off.
Extremists of any type don’t think rationally. This type of bitter rhetoric and general insensitivity to the rest of the population gives people a damned good excuse to treat us like pariahs.
One can critique parenting as currently realized, without critiquing the entire concept of parenting. The present practices are abhorrent, society will pay the price for generations. A constructive critique of the present practices can help foster corrective action.
Great comment, Lisa. I definitely know what you mean about the various boards out there–they often do seem to focus on anger. I suppose it’s probably because the people are being childfree–they’re out there doing things that don’t involve children. It’s when something happens that they turn to the boards and vent. Which I suppose I’m guilty of as well…though I usually find it all funny as opposed to getting angry. If you’re in that mindset for a laugh about parents, check out http://www.babyoffboard.com
Although sometimes Childfree online communities can be a good place to vent or share information I don’t know how much good they are doing. I wish we could share our message with parents or have joint communities. For me the biggest issue I face is people who feel it’s OK to say right to my face how I’m a bad or selfish person for not having children. Or people who don’t say it outright but you can see it in their smug expressions.
Although I am not perfect, I do not bash on parents. I believe in choosing our own path in life. If you wish to be a parent, please do, if you do not, please don’t. In my experience the majority of parents scoff in my direction. I’d love for them to gain some insight on who we really are. Sigh.
Chelsea Handler, Ms. “I’m Glad I Got An Abortion.” She’s hilarious.