Many childfree people feel that having no kids by choice in common is not enough to form lasting connections and friendships. These kinds of groups reflect ways to find things in common beyond reproductive choice. I predict we will continue to see more of this.
More Muddled Use of Childfree, Child-free, Child free, Childless, and New Trending of Childfree by Choice, Child Free by Choice
Even more than last year, in 2018 we have continued to see a number of different ways to express what has been commonly termed “childfree” since the 70s. In 2009, when I started my blog, La Vie Childfree (which now lives here on this site), I learned that the National Organization for Non-Parents (NON) originated the use of “childfree” and Leslie Lafayette increased its common usage when she started the Childfree Network in 1995. Since the late 1990s when I began studying the childfree choice and those who make it, “childfree” has been ‘the’ word to describe those who do not have children by choice. Fast forward to the last couple of years or so when we have started seeing more words and phrases being used to mean childfree as well as different meanings.
Child-free has been used to mean childfree, but also to mean not having kids ‘yet’, being ‘free’ of one’s kids at the moment, or currently in a kid-free environment. The same goes for child free; it can mean childfree, not having kids yet, not being with one’s kids right now, or in a kid-free environment. Childless continues to commonly be used synonymously with childfree. Too often, childfree is also used to describe those who don’t have children by chance or circumstance, which is not synonymous with the conscious choice not to have children.
Since last year, we have also especially seen more of the phrase, “childfree by choice” used to mean childfree. Maybe this use began because of other muddled uses, but to me, it is redundant. Choice is already inherent in the term childfree, at least from its original intent. “By choice” implies there is also the option of it not being a choice – in other words, there is such a thing as “childfree not by choice.” What would that mean?
Last year I hoped that we’d see less of this confusing terminology in 2018. However, this year I’ve seen even more of it! The list of examples runs way too long to show here. If you read articles on childfree-related topics you will undoubtedly see what I mean. And as I expressed last year, one place you won’t find this muddled use is here!
Increased global talk on the childfree choice shows clear signs of a growing childfree world community.
Worthy of mention…
More talk that busts myths on the biological clock and maternal instinct
We see more descriptions that get right to the point, like this from the piece, “Not Feeling Your Biological Clock Tick? You’re Not Alone” on helloflo.com – seeing the biological clock as “condescending,” a “media phenomenon,” and a “cultural construct.”
Procreative ethics reason to have no children
In interviewing childfree couples, I have found that environmental reasons don’t top the list of why they decide to have no children, but this past year I have started to see more talk about concerns of climate change with those in their 20s in particular. On example on elle.com that captures the theme I am seeing and hearing more of: “5 Women on Deciding Not to Have Children Because of Climate Change.”
In addition to delaying having children, will more people decide to have no children because of procreative ethics reasons? I am watching with interest.
Continued straight talk on regret
As I wrote last year, this topic is not directly about the childfree, but it is certainly related to it. With more honest talk about the realities of regret, more women will hopefully not be convinced by pronatalist society that they have to become mothers to be a “normal” woman. This year, Orna Donath’s work lives in a growing number of discussions from different countries such as: “’I would have been far happier being child-free’: Women who REGRET becoming mothers reveal how they secretly long for their old lives in searingly honest online confessions,” “Women who regret becoming mothers share how they secretly long for their old lives.”
And the big behemoth behind it all – pronatalism
I am happy to report that this last year we have continued to see more out there that educates and discusses pronatalist attitudes and beliefs, and actually uses the word itself. One cover story that stood out for me on this score is “How to Build a Life Without Kids” on Canada’s The Walrus.
As I have watched the arc of change over the last two decades, 2018 marks the year in which the childfree choice has been talked about more than ever before. With more childfree voices out there than ever before, this year the childfree community has gained more exposure and strength. And seeds of a true childfree movement have germinated more than ever before. An ever-growing global collective is fueling the road to social and cultural acceptance. We’re still on that road, but as it has in 2018, bit by bit the wave gains momentum with each year. Here’s to continued momentum in 2019!
