Making Relationships Work: Couples Advice Columns by Dr. He Said, Dr. She Said

Review by Melanie Davis

People often lament, “There’s just no instruction manual!” when exasperated with important relationships.  After reading Making Relationships Work, I assert that indeed there is an instruction manual filled with frequently asked questions and written especially for marriage and couples. 

The authors are two Ph.D.s who are also  impressively husband and wife. Together Hanalei Vierra, Ph.D. and M’Lissa Trent, Ph.D. write a newspaper column with relationship advice on marriage, and this ebook is a compilation of many of the columns. Making Relationships Work is a resource which is both useful and expansive. I say expansive because it covers all the stages and challenges of a couple’s journey, from pre-nuptial agreements to empty nest syndrome and everything in between.

The format of Making Relationships Work mixes questions with answers provided by each of the writers, representing  the viewpoints of both men and women, along with short essays on various topics, reflecting what the authors know is important from their 18 year couples counseling practice. The exchange of ideas between Dr. Vierra and Dr. Trent gives a voice to the different-yet-equally-valid ideas of men and women in a relationship which makes it a powerful tool to initiate communication. The breadth of subjects it covers allows a couple to address potential issues or challenges before they become a problem.

The quality of what this book teaches is impressive. One of the subjects addressed in it deals with grief and loss over the death of a daughter.  I lost a daughter at seven months old to SIDS and have lived through exactly what they advise, as my husband and I struggled to understand each other’s different methods of grieving, and what it would take to heal. As I read the advice of each (but especially Dr. She Said) I found myself saying out loud, “Yes, that is exactly right!”

I identified with many of the problems presented and found enlightenment or agreement in the authors’ answers. This compilation was written with compassion and wisdom as it gracefully addresses topics which have the potential of being highly charged or emotional, such as infidelity, loss of trust, and divorce.

After reading about the effects of menopause, I can see how important it is to anticipate how these challenges can not only impact a woman’s well-being, but a marriage! I have never before seen advice on menopause extended past a woman’s physical discomforts until reading Making Relationships Work.

This book would make an excellent wedding gift; there can’t be a much greater recommendation for a book than that!

Purchase on Amazon here or at Dr. Vierra’s website, How to Keep Her


Thank you, Melanie!

Melanie Davis is the author of Amazon Bestseller, The Triumph Book: HEROES.

Find her online at TriumphPress.


  1. Danette Key

    This review told me enough about the book that would compel me to purchase the book for my newlywed children-or even my children who have. Great review, Thank you.

    • Laura

      You are welcome! Melanie is one of my great go-to LiveTrue book reviewers! ~Laura


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