Back to the childfree christian channel (thanks again I.Am.Free for her recent interview) — Cha Cha, did a great guest post on feministmormonhousewives.org. She lays out her reasons for not wanting children, which will sound familiar to many childfree. But then she goes on to how the mormon church sees her, and asks some insightful questions..
She writes, “But because that is my choice, I am made to feel worthless in the eyes of the church. I listen to lessons in relief society or talks in church that praise mothers but declare that a woman who does not want children is completely selfish. Why is it that for a woman, her ultimate spiritual growth can only come from rearing children? Why is it that there is no room in this religion for any other way of life? Why is it drilled into our heads since early childhood that we should be fruitful and multiply?
I’ve prayed daily about this issue ever since the first person in my ward asked me when I intended to have children. I get on my knees and I cry my eyes out to the Lord, but I’ve yet to receive an answer either way. Do I pursue the life of motherhood, when it feels so unnatural to me even though that feeling is contrary to everything the church teaches us about being a woman? Or do I shout from the rooftops that I don’t want any kids? Heavenly Father hasn’t hit me upside the head with a spiritual hammer, commanding me to do either of these things. So because I have not gotten any sort of personal revelation that contradicts my feelings of revulsion toward me being a mother, I simply decide not to do it.
But I feel sad knowing that if I stick with my decision, I’ll never have any place in this gospel, because the things we are taught make it so very clear that a woman who remains childless by choice has no value. It’s sad, Sisters, because that should be the very last thing that motivates us to have children.”
Cha Cha, and other christian and mormon childfree, how do you reconcile not having received the spiritual hammer from your god to have kids and being seen as having no value by the church that professes that word of god?
It is hard for me to understand why a person would choose to remain part of a church that sees me as having no value just because I do not procreate–a church that does not believe that parenthood is only one role for people to play when it comes to children. It takes a village, as they say, and every role has value.
Those who resonate with Cha Cha, how do you do it? To those who know men and women who would resonate with Cha Cha–how do they make sense of this?