There have been a number of segments on national TV on women not having children by choice, and childfree married couples, but this is the first…
I’ve seen on childfree guys only. The Today Show did a piece about a guy who had vasectomy in his twenties. I first posted the link on my facebook page, and there was some good rile, (including childfreedom blogger Daisy Duke) so thought I’d chew further here.
The doctor interviewed on the segment said that he is seeing more single men electing to have vasectomies. Do you think this is they case? Why or why not?
The sex therapist says as you consider the decision not to have children, one needs to look at the possibility that the lack of desire has to do with wounds from the past, or “baggage” we are still carrying. The decision should not come from a place of fear or anxiety, she says.
Fair enough. But it would have been more accurate to say the same is true for those who think they want children. It can work the other way–like asking oneself, Does my desire stem from wounds from the past? Do I want a child to help me heal those wounds from the past? Do I want to be a parent so I can parent the way I always wanted to be parented?
And I don’t know about you, I haven’t met one parent who would say they never had an ounce of fear or anxiety about having kids. It seems like these feelings are just part of it at one point or another.
While of course it is great to get this kind of air time, I was left feeling that it portrayed a guy making this choice as still a real fish out of water, and one who will face consequences, like ending life with legacy angst, ending family lines, and potentially losing a great woman to marry. It could have done a lot more to present what this choice is bringing, will bring to his life (rather than “cost” him) and how he wants to live it.
What would have made this segment better and reflect the reality of what is going on out there?