Valentine’s Day brings to mind one of the many bennies of being in a childfree relationship: because the childfree don’t have kids, they have more time to devote to their relationships.

So when Valentine’s Day rolls around, my partner and I often look at each other and ask how can we make this day special.  When it comes to showing our love and devotion for one another, we already get to do it on a daily basis.

Our daily lives include spending lots of time together, including long walks, cozy dinners in, lovely dinners out, both with leisurely and stimulating after dinner conversation, romantic evenings from date nights out to evenings in, dancing in the living room. We share many things in common and get to enjoy our hobbies together.

My partner and I get to more easily tend to the relationship when we don’t have this big project we are engaged in called parenthood.  Along with the heart tending, an advantage to not have parenthood as a priority, if there are issues that need to be addressed in the relationship, kids aren’t in the way as a potential distraction to not deal with what needs tending.

Kids or not, long-term intimate relationships are work. Researching Families of Two and since then, childfree couples I’ve talked with over the years often comment about the fact that while it can be challenging to deal with relational issues, it is harder to avoid them when you don’t have the distraction called kids.

And by not avoiding them, we enhance our chances of going the distance. Even parents I know have observed this about childfree relationships they see out there.  If issues aren’t dealt with over time while the kids are at home, when the parents finally land at the empty nest (or even before), they find that when trying to finally face those issues, it can be too late.

So on Valentine’s Day, I give special thanks for this bennie. Being in a childfree marriage makes it easier to make every day Valentine’s Day!


Update from 2017 post

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